Much like not wearing white to a wedding, there exists a series of unspoken rules women must navigate when it comes to bathroom etiquette at work.
Indeed, our interactions might be akin to those that take place among wild animals on National Geographic—parts puzzling, fascinating and worth keen observation.
Rule No. 1
A woman must announce to everyone within earshot that she's heading to the restroom, which begs the question: If we don't announce it, does it really happen?
Of course, all women also must attempt to recruit a buddy to go along with her only to realize that this is a journey she must take alone.
Rule No. 2
To find an empty stall, a woman can never knock. Instead, she must contort herself by bending over to check under each door for feet.
Rule No. 2a
Never, ever look through the cracks in the stall door. EVER.
Finally finding an empty spot, a woman can finally claim it as her own.
Public bathroom etiquette: If I'm in stall 2 & all other 8 stalls are empty, stalls 1 and 3 are off limits. And wash your hands!
— Stephanie (@wholeparadise) February 25, 2017
Rule No. 3
Once a woman notices the stall occupant beside her is not making any noise or movements, she must work quickly and leave as soon as possible.
This bathroom neighbor clearly needs privacy, and a woman knows to respect that.
Forever having awkward run-ins and convos with my professors in the bathroom... Why isn't there female etiquette for this?
— Brittany (@brittmcgarryxo) March 2, 2017
Rule No. 4
A woman knows the bathroom is not a social hall and that it would be deadly for her to attempt interaction with another woman.
That is, unless she is faced with the following scenarios:
- Another woman has toilet paper on her shoe. In this case, it is every woman's duty to inform her.
- Another woman is wearing an incredible dress. This woman must be complimented appropriately.
- The woman needs a tampon or other sanitary device. At the moment, a woman may present her situation to fellow bathroom occupants, no matter how awkward. It is a matter of survival.
People need to learn basic bathroom etiquette. You don't go to the empty stall closest to the occupied one. 🙄
— Nat (@x0x0V13) March 1, 2017
Rule No. 5
Friends who see each other in the bathroom may exchange pleasantries. However, if one woman is leaving the bathroom, she must announce this to her friend with a clear "I am leaving now," so her friend is in no way confused.
At this point only is a woman allow to return to her desk and continue day.
today i sneezed and the girl two stalls over blessed me. thanks but you've violated bathroom etiquette by talking to me
— tupac chakra (@reptilemarxism) February 21, 2017
That is, until the next time she needs to use the restroom.